Men are Not Exempt: Postpartum Men

Did you know that fathers can experience perinatal/postpartum mood and anxiety disorders? Research has found that 1 in 10 dads get postpartum depression and up to 18% develop a clinically significant anxiety disorder, such as generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder at some point during the pregnancy or the first year of postpartum.

Furthermore, 10% of new dads experience, paternal postpartum depression and it is raised to 50% when the mom is depressed!

Understanding, primal behaviors that innately happen with a new child will help lessen complications between the couple. Men automatically have the sense to provide. This will translate into being hyper-focused on working more (earning more money). Commonly, this hyperfocus on work is misperceived by the mom, therefore internalizing it as abandonment. As you can see this is a recipe for miscommunication and not feeling seen or heard.

While new mothers may feel more emotional demonstrated by crying spells, new fathers may experience, anxiety, and depression, but be reluctant to talk about it. Common symptoms for paternal prenatal or postpartum depression include anger, sudden, outbursts, or violent behavior—an increase in impulsive or risk-taking behavior, including turning to substances such as alcohol or prescription drugs.

While women usually see peak symptoms around 2 to 3 months men usually peak later in the first year.

It’s an adjustment, getting used to sleep changes and new rules and responsibilities.

Lack of sleep, history of mental illness, a strained relationship with spouse, concerns, or high expectations about becoming a father, financial concerns, and fears about the changing dynamics of family structure add to a higher risk of postpartum depression.

Social pressures to stay strong and provide keep men from sharing their authentic feelings. Men will try and “suck it up,” and “be the rock,” while crumbling inside. Pay attention to the physical symptoms which can include headaches and stomachaches.

Remember, knowledge is power. Your family is all on the same team, look out for each other. Have compassion for one another and always know that help is ready for you.

At You First Now, I proudly say “I speak dude.” Typical responses from dads are like “This doesn’t feel like a counseling session. We are just shootin’ the $h!t”

All along, there is common ground, validation, and education that can be used immediately upon leaving the session.

I’m grateful for the time I have with my family. When both parents are addressed, everyone benefits!