Navigating Holiday Headaches
The holiday season brings joyful celebrations with family and friends, as well as heightened tension and pressure. If you experience stress or anxiety in your daily life, societal expectations during the holidays can intensify these feelings.
Whether you’re searching for the perfect gift, trying to keep up with the never-ending social events, or cleaning the house before family and friends arrive, it’s imperative to make sure you have the right tools in your back pocket to prioritize your well-being.
First is learning how to use the 3 Cs of communication: conscious, compassion, and concise.
Be conscious when trying to understand how the other person is communicating and choose context over content to better interpret what they might be going through at that moment.
Always assume positive intent and avoid taking things personally.
If your communication comes from a place of compassion, you can’t go wrong. Before speaking, ask yourself: ‘Is this statement coming from a place of love?’ If you don’t have anything positive to contribute, take a deep breath and remove yourself from the conversation. “Excuse me, I have to pause to use the restroom,” is a phrase I use often.
Keep your communication concise by utilizing the K.I.S.S. method: keep it super simple.
Choose your words carefully and come from a giving place when engaging in conversation.
Implementing boundaries creates a safe space for people to be their authentic selves. Identifying and setting boundaries can be challenging at first, but with practice, you will be able to confidently reinforce them.
As you interact with others, be mindful of how you feel and if you notice an uncomfortable feeling, or what I like to call a “twinge,” signaling that someone has crossed your boundary. When this happens, identify which boundary has been crossed and correct it by identifying if you have clearly expressed this boundary previously.
If you have not, it’s time to do so by using the 3 Cs of communication.
Approach every interaction with the understanding that other people have no idea how to treat us unless we give them instructions on how to do so. Once we set our boundaries, it is up to them whether they want to respect them, and you are in charge of deciding whether or not you want to change them.
Ultimately, you have the most control over yourself to create the peace you desire.
The final tool to keep in your back pocket is using your 1-2-3 plan to regulate your emotions. If you feel the “twinge” during an uncomfortable conversation, first excuse yourself from the situation, second self-soothe by affirming that you are safe and in charge of your reaction, and thirdly incorporate grounding practices such as breathing exercises.
The holiday season is focused on the principle of giving. Don’t forget to give yourself the time, space, and freedom to prioritize your own needs and fill your own cup. This will enable you to give your family, friends, and the world around you the best of you instead of what’s left of you.